By Alex Ness
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King Arthur related
By Alex Ness
October 12, 2026
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A PERSPECTIVE UPON PAIN
By Alex Ness
September 15, 2026
WHEN PAIN KICKS MY BUTT
I've run out of words for the despair that have recently appeared in my heart. With epic pain issues due to arthritis, broken bones and many surgeries, it becomes more difficult to endure, every day. Technically "Despair" means a being without hope, so to suggest that is my issue, I believe is incorrect, and I do believe in God, do believe in hope, do believe in recovery. For me the despair of pain and isolation, depression and having no foreseeable path forward is described well by despair.
I am tired, this exhaustion is part sleep, part lack of energy and my life's philosophy collapses in the face of so much pain, from all my issues. The remaining heart inside me yearns for peace, for silence, for comfort from my cats. And as such losing nights of sleep due to pain, or stiff body unable to relax, leads to being on crash status overall. I do wonder at such times what I did to earn this, but then I am humbled to learn how much more others struggle than I do, and I don't want to be someone with Job's issues. But I would like to have his faith, have his trust, and have his ability to not lose his mind when the world outside my home finds great harvests, and I have almost no grain, and the future looks bleak.
My life is filled doubt. Doubt I can endure. Doubt in my future. Doubt that crushes the soul. Paired with pain the Doubt is prolific, it is a Doubt that interrupts my song of faith. Understand, that this life is not more powerful than my mind, my dreams, my hope, and my beliefs. It lives to make them less powerful, less determined. But cancer or not, memory loss or not, I am going to proclaim victory, even as I am crushed.
Some feel I'm too sensitive. But I'd suggest, they are not sensitive enough. I was asked to stop writing the poems that suggest Nuclear war awaits, that the Earth will be destroyed by meteor impact or plagues, famine and catastrophe. To them I appear as the court jester Stańczyk, a fool, a being with fears and warnings ignored. But as the Czar entertained others, the jester was sat down in a corner, to stop darkening the mood. All the while, the invader was driving deeper into the Czar's lands.
“It happened that a fire broke out backstage in a theater. The clown came out to inform the public. They thought it was a jest and applauded. He repeated his warning. They shouted even louder. So I think the world will come to an end amid the general applause from all the wits who believe that it is a joke.” Søren Kierkegaard
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EXHAUSTED
By Alex Ness
September 1, 2026
A PLACE TO VENT
When I chose to create this blog it was give a vent to allow my constant need to write, I meant for it to be an area of ideas and opinions I have. Instead it seems that I've instead used it to consider popular culture media rather than a place to express. That isn't a problem, I mean, I do speak freely here. By doing this article, I hope, will change the trend and return to its chosen roots. It isn't, after all, that anyone is complaining other than me. I am currently frustrated by the modern powers of our world to engage in war as a tool of diplomacy.
WAR
Our current world features war in Ukraine, Russia, Iran, Venezuela, Sudan, Yemen, Nigeria, The Congo, and still more. In the 1990s, after the Cold War ended, we dared believe that the world had lived through a violent dangerous time, and that we'd never have to worry in that way again. I think that, for the most part, is true. We understand that nuclear confrontation bears with it egregious amounts of triggers, any one of the many could lead us back to the dark times, and worse. We'd made choices that, for the time, might have made sense. But having experienced that time, and understood the dangers, to return to that period of armed stand offs and nuclear brinkmanship makes no sense at all.
A time back, I'd the opportunity to speak to a person involved in strategic planning and tactics, who had retired and has since died. He wrote to me about a work I had reviewed and he didn't insult me or the work considered, but said, the writer of that product had no military experience. And he went into detail how the product was a fairy tale, rather than a hard look at the world. We chatted more over email and his commentary led me to perceive our world as being in one that is one hellovalot more dangerous than we might perceive. The desire for peace and kindness is wonderful. It would be wonderful to have those things. But the chance we go to war, or witness an act that can never be fixed, makes me wonder what is the real agenda in the wars of the present.
"Bertrand Russell compared it to the game of chicken: Since the nuclear stalemate became apparent, the governments of East and West have adopted the policy which Mr. Dulles calls 'brinksmanship.' This is a policy adapted from a sport which, I am told, is practiced by some youthful degenerates. This sport is called 'Chicken!'." (Sourced from Wikipedia from the article about Brinksmanship.)
ENDURANCE
Yes, I am safe in the heart of Minnesota. No, that does not free me from worrying about the focus and aim that the world has adopted. I have had a long time hope that my poetic, prose, and political choice, will reduce the power of the makers of war. There is a difference in my efforts and those of other creatives. My work isn't bound in the power of word, since I have few readers. But when a reader of my poems wrote and said, "Why are you so depressing, you write about nuclear annihilation, wars turning into extinction, and worse. We are no longer dealing with those worries. Why keep bringing it up." I said, as long as people possess the ability to make war with nuclear weapons, the danger exists. And truly, when a society can die due to a mistake, misperception, or direct desire, it becomes something much greater than the facts that describe it.
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PROPAGANDA? WHY?
By Alex Ness
August 20, 2026
STATE INFORMATION UNDER THE MICROSCOPE
In extreme situations, the authority in charge of safety often assumes responsibility for the sharing of information. Sometimes it holds back on information, considering the damage to morale, to their point of view, or to the safety of people moved by false information or molded information. The better the information is baked into the item of news, by whoever has released it, the more it will have an impact upon those exposed to it.
It has gone on for centuries, actually, millennia. In fact, upon many stones it has been etched a version of an event that maybe didn't happen, or didn't happen in the way the narrator would like you to believe.
For instance, I disagree with modern experts who seek to erase any victory by the Egyptian army under the leadership of Pharaoh Ramses II. His tomb memorials declared the event of the battle of Kadesh to be a perfect case of victory, of extraordinary valor, and success achieving the Egyptian army's aims. Modern history readers have tried to deflate that balloon of bluster. But it wasn't as if the enemy at Kadesh, the Hittites didn't do the same kind of exalted words of greatness.
At Kadesh a large army of four groups led by the Pharaoh and his chariot using elite bodyguard, were moving along the coast of the Mediterranean sea to Kadesh, a site in Syria built up and walled. It was here that Ramses II had wanted to make a display of power, and restore the territory to Egyptian control. That couldn't be done, because as the chariots and first army group arrived, a mass surprise ambush of Hittite chariots burst through a nearby area of rough and shrubs, and crashed through the newly arriving remainder army groups. It required the chariots of Ramses II and his body guard to respond, destroying many of the enemy's ambush chariot squad. On the walls of his monuments Ramses II had written of his gallantry, and powerful impact. But Kadesh was not regained, and Egypt did not win a victory. It might have achieved a bloody punishment to the Hittites, but they did not, in the end, give up the land Pharaoh had come to take. Did Ramses II fail? Not like the modern voices would say, many sounding like their feelings were hurt for the propaganda trying to mislead them. It was something done, if not fully achieved, rather painfully ending in a draw. Few would dare to invite Ramses II's wrath with a second battle.
But, both sides of the story? State secrets, important information is not always wrong, sometimes it was important to beat the drum, to move a people from one passive view, to that of an active one. Other times it is about clarifying reasons, and making clear the reason to be willing to support war, the most destructive action of a nation.
The four sets of propaganda works from the Second World War shown below feature something disturbing. It is more than saying, our side is right, The Empire of Japan and the United States of America both use racism and demonizing of the enemy in their posters. The Nazis and British Empire used inspirational images and words to encourage and inspire determined entry on the side of the maker of the poster art. I suspect that both Nazi Germany and the United Kingdom and the British Empire had already been to war, heavily, in the previous 20 years. Therefore, maybe it wasn't so easy to demonize and much easier to lead others into the fight for the life of the nation in question in those cases.
SOME GREAT BOOKS ABOUT THE SUBJECT
Some use neutral language about books about propaganda. They call it media regarding the conflict. Or such. But the books shown below include some of the best written and cultivated in the subject. While many aim at Nazi propaganda, which is fine, it is important to point out, not only did the Nazis use it, they used it against the enemy, for the state, and to use as force to use force against the enemies within.
John Dower has written many excellent works, as has Saburo Ienaga, about just how the war was practiced. In fact, while the Nazis pretended to use logic, the Japanese and Americans cast aside all reason and logic faced with the war at hand. Learning how both sides saw the conflict as a contest of racial parameters. The dimensions of the war led to horrible war crimes, and use of tactics that have since been illegalized in the rules of war. This is less to say what not to read, if done well all works can help achieve a narrative. But those works that are aimed at a narrower focus might miss some other issues that weren't included. It is true that ideologies can infect propaganda, so if one reads about propaganda from a Left wing or Right wing perspective, the information may still be true, but stained a bit by going into the paradigms of power and economic justice in addition to the mechanics of changing minds and hearts with words and pictures.
MOVIES MADE FOR A PURPOSE
The films that were meant to inspire soldiers of the fight, did not always tell a story about the specific fight ongoing. The Battleship Potemkin was aimed at mobilizing soldiers, sailors and workers to taking up the cause of the state. The Triumph of the Will was a supposed antiseptic story of a lone man who would speak to gathered thousands, in agreement with the lone man, the messianic sort of speaker. Why We Fight was the work of Frank Capra, an expert cinematographer. He used the images of the American war, then being fought to create the evidence to explain America's movement from isolationist to active, choosing to embrace the need for a policeman of the world. It was a study in emotional response to a violent war, and made its profile known as a just power. Rightly or wrongly. In Which We Serve won an Oscar. It was the British version of making its case for war showing a British destroyer being bombed and the survivors thinking upon the paths that led them to war. It is not the equal of Triumph of the Will nor Why We Fight, but it is a better film as films go. Or at least, it feels less like propaganda.
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I began reading comics when I was very young. My brother was reading books and comics all the time. He was 2 years older than me. He was my role model, my first friend, and my defender. Life was often less than fun. Over time we shared those summer days when chores were done, reading through all of our comics.
We had more DC comics than Marvel, with about a dozen Turok, Son of Stone from Gold Key. We didn't keep our comics separated by ownership, we did separate them in terms of publisher. I worked from 12 years old on, I had a total of 3 jobs, and had two temporary jobs where I cleaned offices, shoveled walks, or mowed lawns. As such, I saved money and would weekly buy many more comics. I didn't let my father or mother know about my nest egg, since I deposited most of my earnings into a college fund. And college certainly drained it.
My kind of comics included, post apocalyptic, WWII, Prehistoric, Super heroes.
As I grew older my preference of comics began to skew towards the creative talents who created the comics. Jack Kirby, Dave Cockrum, Paul Gulacy & Doug Moench, Roy Thomas and more, all became part of why I would buy the comic. With my growing ability to buy comics, I developed regular books to buy.
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COLLISION OF CULTURES
By Alex Ness
July 26, 2026
Humanity has come into a sort of maturity, somehow, it has never learned to temper its violent edge. People will say well I am personally not violent, but they live in a system that measures out resources as a consequence of violence. A system that entertains with violence, however much the equipment used in the sport is modernized. Male children, particularly, play as if using guns, swords, and killing one another. And, importance on a world stage is financially determined in large part, by the nation's investment in weapons of mass destruction. War is a legitimate tool of diplomacy, as it is held in reserve as a means of achieving an end.
While people can promise to others to be non-violent, they cannot end up stateless and somehow advocate for themselves. They will need to be attached to a state to have rights, and every state maintains the monopoly upon violence. No matter the outlook, few states ever exist without a means to defend one's self. Examples of states without an armed force are few, more so, those they desire to be seen as without a military are often depending upon their neighbors for defense. I am not suggesting they should or shouldn't do that. It just isn't what they profess to be what it is that they follow.
It is rare the number of wars we've fought that clearly had no other way to solve the diplomatic issue. But they do exist. As a result of some authentic events that required the use of force, some people assume, every situation expect of unjust wars, violence is a legitimate tool of diplomacy. Know Hitler and various others have plagued the world, I understand the fear they have wrought. But not every dictator or military leader is evil, or even pretend to be so. And still, violence as a tool is not removed from the list of options.
The power of the military in our world appeals to the weak minded. It appeals to those who need and want order. A powerful military gives shows what people value, in that the GDP of countries who spend on the tools of war, often create economic cultures based upon improving the ability to kill. The Military Industrial Complex when analyzed suggests that weapons cause war, so we need weapons to fight against war. And that, in my mind, is a load of crap.
While I am at it, think about the Cold War for a moment, weapons of mass destruction faced off, where simple use would end up destroying the humans and their dwellings on the entire planet. The Cold War also featured humans spending tons of money on alternative means of killing many, and those countries too poor to advance were left with very little assistance and the people were used in proxy wars to fight when those far away watched the results.
MODERN WAR
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TIME IS SPENT DRINKING IN CULTURE
By Alex Ness
My time grieving has been spent in mostly solitary activities. Reading Camus, Kafka and watching a bazillion documentaries, all helped give me perspective.
I watched some films that I didn't enjoy, but felt them to be well made
and likely enjoyed by others. I have watched Reservoir Dogs, and thought
it good but hard to watch. Mostly everything else I began but couldn't
get through them. Especially as I think Quentin Tarantino is a fine
director, screenwriter... He is bright, able, understands the works that
have been made prior and more. But, having said all that, his qualities
being elite, I've only an appreciation for his work, rather than love. I
look forward to his release of a film I am moved by. I didn't dislike Inglorious Bastards for the same reason as the others. He gets the very best acting from his chosen actors and actresses, he has perfect director's eye, and is fearless. But Inglorious Bastards is a fairy tale, and one that the unfortunately less aware will be fooled by. Yes I do believe that.
I love
Ridley Scott's film work, all of it that I have seen. There is one film I
need to see, Robin Hood. I liked the work of Kevin Costner as Robin and thought his Robin Hood a fun watch,
but didn't love it. I absolutely love the Adventures of
Robin Hood. But I avoided Ridley's Robin Hood, as I thought it was the first of a series and wanted to go slow, for fear of
seeing something about a subject I love fail. I have been told it is great, but have been told by others, nah, not great, good maybe.
I mention this as I've
seen works recently that shook my foundations. Perhaps because of my
recent losses, my being is especially sensitive. But Kingdom Of Heaven,
is glorious, it is a work that shows imperfect beings trying to live
under rules of a perfect God. Such films might fail, but this film moved
me so deeply, I cried at every thought of the message of the film. I am
surely imperfect. I have made sooooo many errors, so many sins, so many
flaws hard born. I am a flawed man and my failures are deep, lavish,
and horrific. Despite my flaws, I aspire to know God, perhaps as the
knights and kings, commanders and warriors were shown to also attempt.
Sometimes
you are learning about movies but you are reading a book. This image
shares numerous books that are about the manifestation of Godzilla
across the globe, in serious thought, fiction and fandom. It is worth
the investment of time, but it isn't altogether important. It is just
fun.
The Choices I've Made
By Alex Ness
THIS LIFE
I didn't go through Hell growing up. I went through Heck. People reading my words often think I'm saying that I had it the worst of all humanity. I had some good life portions. Having perfectionist parents, physical punishments, and bullies, added to a number of horrible accidents that led to concussions, a broken leg, with three particular fracture lines, that my father made me walk off, I was left with scars. My parents both meant well, but my personality, mind, outlook were all carved from the soul of thoughtful, dreamer, and introvert. An introvert who is so introverted, conformity to a life where you do things because "its the way it has always been done" is vile shit.
That still sounds like I am complaining. If you see it as that you might be demanding I conform to your definition of complaining, when I am trying to explain. And that you demand I conform to the lives and societal perceptions of other. If so, you might have a suggestion to read no further. It won't get better in that regard the further we go.
I chafed at the demand I smile for pics. My eyes were always sensitive to light so it even happens when I smiled my eyes were tearing up. The eye doctor said, yeah, it is natural and real thing unrelated to emotions, so it is not ideal. I was told over the years I cried over everything. And now, I do cry, I am not crying from sorrow or pain, I cry as often over joy as I do sorrow. But life doesn't let you choose your emotional response. You are responding.
Attachment for me once I trust someone is an easy thing. Sometimes, especially in this internet life, I find people I've attached to aren't similarly so to me. Some other people think that is groovy so they get you to give them money, or books or love. I tend to be generous with friends, or I did when I could drive and mail things easily. My memory loss and such makes that far less easy. I get lost now so easily, a route 25 years known to me gets me lost.
I was asked by someone I like very much, if growing up I thought of being a historian and pol science guy. I liked dinosaurs and history, but didn't know how that would work out. Most of the friends I had who got good grades, and ended up with great careers, weren't altogether, while growing up, my best of friends. My best friends were like me, had knowledge and intuition, but testing by memorization and false measures of ability didn't necessarily display good grades. One teacher I had mocked me for my ideals, for my first name, for my family, and for not being a "Packers" fan. I still liked them, but my like list is rather crowded. I heard in private he was kind and well thought of, but not by me. I had, at a time, decided to use my paper route money, having had a route for 7 years, to pay for a visit after I graduated high school to Europe. I thought, I might not be good enough at art, but maybe I could teach it so others might appreciate it. That never happened and I am grateful for that, I get more enjoyment from writing poetry than I do drawing guys fighting monsters.
Writing gave me solace, but I don't think I know now, let alone then, what my path and purpose were supposed to mean. I love my wife and son, I've great friends, none near me, still I love reading tons of books. Some day I'll create a list of the most important books in my human development. A quick look would be The Little Prince, Beowulf, The Cost of Discipleship, Alexander of Macedon, The Battle That Stopped Rome: Emperor Augustus, Arminius, and the Slaughter of the Legions in the Teutoburg Forest. I am happy to have read fiction and non fiction, comics and poetry, and huge, lush encyclopedias. Life is better when you grow the brain you are born with.
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As a species do we struggle between humans with societal traits versus traits of a hunter or warrior? ADD is said by some to be a primal trait that makes intake of sensory information able to perceive sensory information quicker and with deeper engagement. Charisma, however, doesn't help a hunter, even good looking ones. It does allow a societal trait of dealing with others, even if not being altogether different in intellect, wisdom or decision making wisdom. It allows someone to be a leader of others.
Why is this a thought right now? I wonder if certain people will follow into war the leaders who are not of higher intelligence, but lead with either charisma or a gift to lie with efficiency. It is a dangerous time when mistakes might lead to a confrontation. Confrontations that occur with weapons fought with many levels higher of intellect to build and levels higher of consequence than the leader can perceive. I have issues found in the present, this is true. It seems clear that the decay of morality and empathy will debase the firm stance of world peace, and lead to global war. If we acknowledge there is a likelihood that we are violent as a common trait of humans, this isn't a new phenomenon.
I'm an old man compared to most of the people I engage. For me the consequences of a nuclear exchange or drawn out conflict, aren't as fear inducing to me. But I do fear, for the young, the hopeful, the true living breath of culture. I fear for my son, and everyone who has life to pursue, families to build, hopes to build and children to raise, war, of any nature is a possible species killer. However, I don't suggest any US political party is more responsible for the disaster. I vote 3rd party, but if you demand that I vote for one of the two major parties, I won't be doing that.
In time we learn wisdom, but the more life is difficult, I question the frequency of people overcoming their more base instincts. And if you believe we are all good and kind, then why do nations have to have a military? Libertarians often argued against the need for "nation states" and that government taxes are in essence stealing your money, since you have no way to say no to taxes. I am many things, but likely not a libertarian. In most areas I'd say if society over regulates your existence, that is a nanny state. If it under regulates your society, you are likely to be giving up safety in exchange for freedom. I prefer freedom, and I still want safety. Who knows what I am trying to say?
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UPON METROPOLIS
By Alex Ness
Sometimes one looks at the surface and sees exactly what was shown to them. But in the different layers, the deeper fathoms, they might instead learn that allegorical stories require patience and discernment. This tale, Metropolis, was made to teach visually of the themes of the fallen world. Rather than saying tsk tsk, and shaking a finger at the subject, the movie tells a story of what human souls can do, despite demands upon their conformity. It shows rather than suggest that even if the masters of society wish so, by replacing humans with technology, with cyborgs, with complete ownership of the wishes of others the human mind and heart are the reason we exist. If one steals our labor and demands conformity, we will no longer exist.
Alex Ness
June 22, 2026
Blogthoughts... I gain courage to post about things that suck, and
then I think about it as choosing between vanilla or chocolate while
others starve without a thing. It is called a 1st world problem. And I
am sure it is. As such, I need to be more specific in aim and language
used to address it if it is important, but I write here because I am
using this to write what was on my mind.
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IF YOU ARE A WRITER, WHY DON'T YOU WRITE NOVELS?
My first effort was a prose novel. However, I've been told by writers, short stories are kewl too, don't worry about the format, just write. I did poorly however. Some of it was trying to write with chemo brain and damage from sepsis that came through during the first wave of chemo. But I am not blaming that, or anyone. I didn't have a clue what I wanted to say, I've never been one to whip up adventures, I was far more about shorts narrative works, longer prose poems and other differences from straight prose. One writer offered a free read and comment. For a couple months he said nothing, and when prodded he said you don't have problems with grammar or spelling, but it doesn't read like a novel. It reads like many small stories done in prose rather than your native mindset. Bingo! I also tried writing a prose novel during my recovery from my broken neck and messed up shoulders in 2019 to 2022. That work turned out for the worse.
During my cancer phase I ended up with much more free time, since an artist fellow from Cleveland Heights asked me to allow him 18 months to achieve progress on an illustrated prose work. Why didn't I have to work? My book for his art to appear in, was done and in his hands for over a year. In the previous 18 months the artist was consumed by envy and bitterness, and actually made a blog site to house message board threads, galleries, and a potential news blog about comic books so he could fight a non existent battle with his enemies on a previous website and message board. He didn't do the work for my book, and in doing this in his fashion, he was so afraid to fail, he did nothing at all. Wait, no, he did, he worked on the message board/blog, and focused on spending time there.
The sole good point was that I could salvage the book this time, I just took pieces out and placed new pieces in, and it was published while my best friend in life had done the formats and uploaded the piece to my Amazon publishing hub. I thought he did a great job. It was presumably for him being done to try out the system, and I gave him some books or such, but not nearly as much as he deserved. I, therefore, write, but in smaller bite size portions, and my poetry is rarely the nursery rhyme variety or the drugged up hippie shit that doesn't rhyme, doesn't have a clear meaning, or is trying to slip a giant joke about its audience.
ARTISTS OF COMICS WHO I ADORE THE WORK OF
Long before beginning a new blog, I was asked by someone half my age who thinks/says I write well, what 20 movies move me the most. Since I am an emotional guy I think that the person asking would reply immediately and with 18 loves stories and 2 feel good kind of movies. I often protect my heart when saying something where others can respond. She then applied a filter to the list, no Godzilla or in her mind children's movies. I avoided the Godzilla specifically, but I'd have four of them, or more here if I chose to include them.
Now, whether for good or ill, I often do not say anything about someone else's choices, it is all a matter of taste. In their case, I did keep my yap shut. But not always... But there have been times when I couldn't keep my big yap shut. Someone liked something I despise, it was time wasted I'll never get back... so I said it like that. And they had done nothing wrong. At all. For the next twenty years they held a grudge and I refused to break the ice and apologize. Is their taste bad, or was there one great scene amongst the crappola? I'd say now, as a much older and more educated person, I don't care if someone likes something I do not, so I'll just smile and nod my head and say I am glad you found a work to fit your tastes or life experiences.
I like some work for the actors, others for the subject, but usually it is the director, the writers, and knowledge of the camera work that makes a work fully vivid and vital. Lately I've been watching Stanley Kubrick films, and those aren't the happiest of works I've watched, by any stretch of the imagination. Since I've been mourning a number of losses, my choice of film is important. I am not exaggerating when I say I've touched bottom of an ocean crevice, and can't imagine surviving the impact of rising above the darkest fathoms.
I decided to add the works in a way that doesn't much imply preference, but some preference. I have sets of 5 movies each, and offer them to generally look at what I like.
Seven Samurai
Gladiator
Amadeus
Excalibur
From Here to Eternity
Blade Runner
Blade Runner 2049
Interstellar
The Crying Game
The Black Rose
Metropolis
M
The Misfits
Andromeda Strain
Alien
The 13th Warrior
JFK
A Place in the Sun
Enemy at the Gates
300
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